I been doing some revision on what I’ve written so far on The Demon’s Day. This is the very beginning posted again. Can you spot the differences? Do the changes make it better or worse? Let me know.
“Eva, we need to talk.”
Eva lay sprawled out on her bed, rapidly texting on her cell phone. It was Bella- apparently Nicole and Jake just had a catastrophic breakup and the night was finally becoming interesting. Obviously, Nicole didn’t even deserve a guy like Jake in the first place. She was just too ugly to be that popular. Eva snickered as she read Bella’s message; Nicole must be a real slut right? She sent a ‘lol so true’ and a smiley face back.
“Eva did you hear me? I said we need to talk.”
“I’m a little busy. Come back later,” was all she had to say.
Frustrated, her mother walked across the room and took Eva’s phone out of her hands. “This is important,” she said, “Your homeroom teacher called me.”
“Mom!” Eva whined, “I need that back. Some serious stuff is going down right now. I need to keep in touch!”
Her mother didn’t seem to be listening, “Mrs. Chalmers told me you failed your chemistry test last week, and now your behind on your English assignments. You want to explain to me what’s going on?”
Eva paused before she put herself up to a sitting position. “It’s just school stuff-it’s always hard. I’m just not getting this chemistry thing at all and I can’t keep up with the book we’re reading for English. None of the teachers really care about what we think.”
“What book are you reading right now?”
“Um…the title was a year or something…somewhere in the 80’s.”
Her mother sighed. “Yeah?” she asked flatly, “And that party at Chris’ place the weekend before your test and the fact that you can’t even tell me the title of the book that you’re supposed to be reading has nothing to do with all this? You shouldn’t be blaming your teachers when it’s pretty obvious that you haven’t been caring all that much yourself.”
“Well what am I supposed to do?” Eva cried, “I can’t do all this school stuff and have a life at the same time. I have to keep up with all the others at school. There’s friends, jerks, texts, losers, clothes, boys, and all kinds of things that I have to keep track of. So what if some homework doesn’t get done?”
“Eva, look,” her mother began, taking a seat next to her on the bed, “I know this talk has been long overdue, but you need to rethink your priorities. I know your friends are important to you, but you can’t let that get in the way of everything else. You’re in high school now and it’s not going to be long before you have to figure out what you what you want to do next. Socializing isn’t the only thing you need to do to prepare yourself for the rest of your life. I know it might seem important now, but trying so hard to fit in like this won’t matter in the long run.”
“You’re not even trying to understand!” Eva cried, “You think anyone cares that I read a book or passed a test? No one!” Eva paused, noticing the look of pity on her mother’s face. It only served to fuel her anger. What did she have to feel so sad about?
“What they do care about is what you’re wearing, how good you look, and if you can get any of the guys. If you can’t then you’re just a piece of garbage; that’s how the world works Mom. That’s what life is all about and there’s no point putting energy into something that doesn’t give me what I want.”
“What do you want Eva?”
She thought for a moment, “I don’t know. I just don’t want to be garbage.”
Her mother let out a heavy sigh, “Well Eva, you’re going to have a long time to think about what you really want. You’re going to be staying at home until I see some changes.”
“You have to be joking!” Eva said, “Nicole’s birthday party is this weekend! Everyone is going to be there! If I don’t go they’ll think I don’t care about them. I’ll be an outcast by Monday!”
“That doesn’t matter to me. You may think that no one cares about what’s going on in your head, but I do. You’ll be staying here at home studying and catching up on your assignments.”
“Mom, this is my life you’re messing with! What am I going to do if I’m not with them? If I don’t know what they’re doing? ”
“Is this seriously all you think about?” her mother asked, “Eva, if this is the way you honestly feel, there’s something truly wrong with you.”
“There is nothing wrong with me – you’re the one that’s insane!,” Eva insisted, trying to grab her phone, “Everyone’s busy with the stuff they want to do and I have to be a part of it. What else is there?”
“A lot more than you think!” her mother said, pulling away. She got up from the bed and headed for the door. Her voice shook, “You’re going to bed-now. You’ll be sure that we’ll be talking more about this later. There are some serious problems that we need to deal with.”
“You don’t care about me! If you did you’d make sure I was happy!” Eva yelled. She clawed for the door and slammed it in her mother’s face. Her mother didn’t say anything in reply, but she heard her footsteps as she walked away from the closed door.
Still, the damn phone was gone and without it she was lost. She wondered why her mother had become such a pain lately. She never used to be so concerned about grades and stuff. Sure she always had the usual worries of a parent, but Eva couldn’t remember a time when she was such a bitch about it. She puzzled over how her mother could be so naive.
No longer in possession of her phone and without a computer in her room, Eva didn’t have anything else to do. Her only option was to go to bed, although she did so reluctantly. In the darkness her eyes adjusted, and she could just make out the Twilight poster she put up there ages ago. She wished she could become immortal like Bella and Edward, and then there would be nothing to worry about anymore.